New Diary

I decided to start a new diary. After years on OpenDiary, I feel like I need to start somewhere fresh.
I have a lot of changes that are going on in my life lately. I've started to date a new man who I hope to marry someday. He is a former pastor, and is teaching me a lot about God and the bible. Before I go to sleep I have him tell me stories of Job, Abel, Esther, and fall asleep listening to him preach to me.
Now, this may seem crazy, I mean, I am not one to have really any set beliefs at all. I've gone to churches, temples, etc, and never found anything that genuinely fit ME. I always liked bits and pieces and kind of made up my own faith along the way. I loved parts of church, I always loved the singing, and I loved the meditation and the peacefulness I felt when I attended the Buddhist temple. But I never stayed long.
Dating James has brought out strange feelings in me. Feelings that although he is a part of my life now, there is still a void. Something is still missing. And even though I'm working full time and still have my hands full with Gavin, I still feel this void. It's very strange, but something has been drawing me to Christianity.
After reading one of my favorites on OpenDiary, I kept thinking to myself, I want to be more like that. Although she may not be perfect, and she may be younger than myself, I still find myself drawn to reading her diary. Even though I wasn't brought up with Christianity in my home, I still think we have some of the same beliefs when it comes to the home and relationships. I was brought up to think that men made the money, they were the "kings" of their homes, while the women stayed home and took care of the house and the children. I would love to have as many children as I am able. I tell people "I'd love to have three more" (and this is in addition to my existing 1) and their jaws drop. Today, children are seen with a price tag on their heads. We can't AFFORD another is what I always hear. Children are a blessing, not an item bought at Target.
So I decided to start to write a story of my journey. Now I better get to my Sunday cleaning before I stay on here all day!